Competitiveness

Another 2 weeks before I can reclaim my Sundays. Till then it is a late lunch in our household to synchronise with Regina (that's Queen in Italian and that's Franco's pet name for me)'s work schedule. 

Today it was lamb chops with pasta which was yummilicious. I boiled some edamame so that there was some green on the table. I ended up eating the whole bowl by myself while Franco and Tasha sucked the bones dry. 

Conversation at lunch varies from Tasha's best friend to fake diamonds from Tiffany's but today it centred around golf since I had just acquired a new club membership yesterday. Of course, no golf talk is complete without some reviews of the performance of the caddies. After all they are the ones who make or break our game. Well...mine anyway. Tasha thinks that I am way too pampered to always be playing with a caddie. The only reason she normally plays without one is because she is too frugal to tip them! 

Anyway, I mentioned to Franco about how terrible the caddie at Palm Garden was. Tasha concurred with my observation as she missed a birdie and a par chances when we played there a few days ago (plus it is always good to blame it on someone else)! 😄😄

FRANCO: I like Nordin. He reads the line very well. 

ME: He is good but he talks too much. Maybe because we are both Kelantanese and he feels that he needs to constantly chat with me! I don't like chatty caddie because I need to focus when I play. That's why I like Manik. He is not the best but he ticks all the boxes. 

TASHA: Ma, you like him because he is as COMPETITIVE as you. He is always giving you hope for sinking the ball in the hole even when the chance of that happening is less than 5%! Not to mention, he will make you fight until the last stroke. Even when you are already winning, he has to make sure that you have a landslide victory!  Seriously! Who does that during a fun game? 

FRANCO: Babe....what's with you and getting people to be COMPETITIVE? Last week it was Kaarthi. What was it. He did 1 speech the whole of last year and now that he is mentoring you, he did 4 speeches in 1 day? 

TASHA: Yeah ma. You remember when we played last week. I was one up against you. Then Manik was cheering you on to make sure that you squared with me, which you finally did on the last hole. How both of you were high 5-ing when you managed to even your score. And that was against your own daughter!!! 

For the rest of lunch, Franco and Tasha took turns to be in the firing squad that finally left me unarmored! For the first time I was relieved that my break time was over. I reminded everyone to be quiet and hurried back to the desk to talk to my mentee in Turkey, a very COMPETITIVE national athlete turned coach. 

Yesterday's Gallagher's Challenge! 

  Looks like it is the story of my life!  

 

Pareto Your Life

Have you ever wondered why you feel so tired and become so frustrated that you are not accomplishing your goals? Imagine getting things done while having the spare time you need to relax and pursue your passions. 

The Pareto principle is based on a well verified observation that in business, economics and life generally, about 80% of all results flow from a mere 20% of our efforts. 

The unspoken corollary of the 80/20 principle is that little of what you spend your time on actually enriches your life. But by concentrating instead on the few things that do matter, you can unlock the enormous potential of the critical 20% and multiply your happiness and fulfilment. When you learn how to systematically apply the 80/20 principle, you will finally have the power to transcend the pressure of modern life. To become more powerful and to enjoy more leisure, serenity and great relationships with friends and loved ones. 

The sunrise I would have missed!

                              

Warm and Happy Place

How many times have you had an amazing idea while taking a shower? Stanford University conducted a scientific research on this phenomenon of showering inspiration. They found that people tend to think more creatively when they are in a warm and happy place and when they are emotionally uninhibited. Being naked in a hot shower is as close as it gets for most of us!

My husband is one of them. Always exclaiming, "Babe, I have an epiphany!" loud enough to wake up the whole neighbourhood. Unfortunately for him, the realisation disappears as quickly as it dawns on him! To be precise, as soon as he turns off the faucet and steps out of the shower.  😜

My warm and happy place is when I run. When all I could hear is the sound of my shoes pounding the tarmac. When all I could feel is the gentle beating of my heart beat. When the beads of sweat trickle from my head down to my cheeks and my neck. When my thoughts dissipate into thin air with the evaporation of the droplets. This is when my mind will be engulfed with endless inspiration. And unlike my husband I try the best that I can to make a mental note of it! 

I ran 8km last night and another 12km first thing this morning. During a chat with one of my athletes he asked what I did since I last saw him yesterday. 

Me: I ran 20km within 12 hours. 

Him: Oh no!

I smiled because he has been my athlete long enough to know that the training to follow will be a "new" experience for both of us!

Where is your warm and happy place? 

 

8.88

Went out for my 8km this morning, to complete my weekly 30km target when I saw Tey running on the opposite side of the road. Tey is a sports journalist with Sin Chew Jit Poh and over the last 10 years that I had known him, we have used each other well. I would give him the inside scoop for sports and he will use the press to promote an idea, event or an athlete that I am supporting! It helps that both of us love running and live within the same neighbourhood. So, as long as we keep on running, he won't be able to run away from me! 😃 (I digress)

Me: Happy New Year, Tey!

Tey: Thank you. 

Me: How far are you running today? 

Tey: 8.88  

I smiled at his response, remembering that amongst the Chinese, the number 8 is viewed as an auspicious number. Even the opening ceremony of the 2008 Beijing Olympics  was held on 8/8/08 at 8:08:08pm! 

Not wanting to lose out on my fair share of fortune and good luck, I decided to add on .88km to my original plan.  

Upon returning home, I googled to find out the significance of number 8. The facts below were unearthed within less than a minute on Google:

A) Malaysia's iconic building, Petronas Tower for example, has 88 floors. Taipei 101 although has 101 floors, features a series of 8 segments of 8 floors each and the list goes on!

B) The British Airways' route from London to Chengdu is BA88 and Cathay Pacific's from Vancouver to Hong Kong is CX888! Apparently these were not mere coincidence. Airlines like Etihad, Air Astana and KLM were found to share the same practice for their flights to China.  

C) Instead of using "9" for price point, it is common to see "8" being used in Asia to achieve the same psychological effect. 

 I was surprised to discover how significant number "8" is and how deeply entrenched it is even in our daily lives! So, I am glad I bumped into Tey this morning who inspired me to start the Ox year right. 

Gong Xi Fa Cai! 

(Un)Conscious Bias

My Toastmasters mentor, Kaarthi has not given a speech for a long time (well..long for my standard!😄) and finally he delivered one this week - a mind-blowing speech entitled "Unconscious Bias". 

As soon as I heard the title I was excited for three reasons. 

(1) It was a topic Tasha wrote for her IB project 5 years ago, so it was a very familiar subject to the Rende family as she read, researched and presented to us over and over (AND OVER AND OVER) until she "nailed" it. 

My Pride and Joy

(2) It resonated well with the conversation I had with her just a few weeks ago about my reading habit. (More on this later.)

(3) Given my familiarity with the topic, I couldn't wait to hear Kaarthi's perspective. (Post speech: he certainly did NOT disappoint! 😎)

The meaning of the term "Unconscious Bias" is rather straightforward in that, more often than not, we, without realising, are swayed by some factors when making a decision - factors such as our background, personal, cultural and religious values, life experience, education and the list goes on. 

Back to the conversation I had with Tasha a few weeks ago which took place while we were golfing. It started when Tiggy innocently asked Tasha about the kind of books she reads. 

Tasha: Mom and I read everything! Even the label on the newly bought shirt! (ha! ha! But it is true!) Even when I was in the UK, we would spend hours on the phone discussing a current case that we were following or talk about a book that she wants me to read.  BUT BUT listen to this Auntie Tiggy...

And this was when she dropped the bomb! 

Tasha: Even though we read the same book, sometimes I wonder whether we actually read the same book because she would only remember and talk about the parts that validate her already-formed opinion and would NOT accept any other point of views! 

Woe is Me! I was astonished to hear that from her because we always talk about the books we read and she had never said such a thing. However, I was too flabbergasted to immediately retort, so I composed myself and took a deep breathe. 

Me: First of all, that was a total exaggeration! I am a very open minded person who will consider other points of views. However, through 51 years of life, I am pretty confident of what works and what doesn't, what's real and what's a fantasy and what's to be taken seriously and what's to be read with a pinch of salt. 

Tasha: See....that's what I meant! Unconscious Bias has taken over you! 

Me: No, sweetie. You can't accuse me of Unconscious Bias. I am very aware of the points that I made and the reasons behind them. If it is a bias, it is a conscious one. 

We were interrupted by the Marshall giving signal to continue play. (Thank God!) But it got me thinking. Is there such a thing as Conscious Bias?! Is it just me being conscious of my Unconscious Bias? Or are they the same thing? 

I guess I will have to write another post when I find the answer. So stay tuned!

To Jab or Not to Jab?

Now that the COVID19 vaccines are becoming more available for the masses, the burning question in everyone's mind is, of course, to jab or not to jab. 

Being someone who is not fond of having to make life's decision based on what is reported in the media, social or otherwise, I decided to attend a webinar organised by the TKC Old Girls' Association, to find a definitive answer to this very question. More so because the speakers are eminent experts in this field. They are: 

• Dato Dr. Professor Adeeba, our very own specialist in the field of internal medicine and infectious diseases, well-known for her work and publication not just in Malaysia but internationally. 

• Dato' Dr. Musa, a paediatrician and neonatologist, whose phone number I had on my speed dial for good 10 years of Tasha's early life! He is the champion for global equity in child health, rooting for immunisation as a strategy for child's survival.     

The take aways from the webinar are as follows: 

ARE THE VACCINES SAFE?

There are more than 10 different types of Covid 19 vaccines developed worldwide, using different technologies. The much talk about is the mRNA technology that has been in the vaccine pipe dream for the last 30 years (due to Ebola, AIDS, SARS and MERS). It is only now that Pfizer and Moderna are able to bring the vaccines to its full development due to an influx of funding as well as circumstances that allow for large scale testing. 

Most of the vaccines that are being talked about have gone through human trials and have been declared safe for respective applications by different relevant authorities.

SIDE EFFECTS

The side effects of COVID19 vaccine are similar to other vaccines and that it will affect different people differently. I can attest to the latter part of the statement based on personal experience in preparation for the SEA Games Manila in 2019, when all athletes and coaches were required by the Philippines Government and the Malaysian Olympics Council to have the following vaccines: 

• Polio since Philippines declared an outbreak of polio in September 2019, two months before the Games
• Flu which is commonly administered when we attend major Games that require for us stay in the Games Village with athletes and coaches from other countries. 
• Typhoid for when we travel to countries with "suspect" food and water sanitisation!  

I remember vividly the concerns I had when Serena missed her swim sessions for days because she couldn't lift her arm, Aimi had a fever so high that she had to put on drips and Ziq had itchiness at the jab locations! The remaining of the team just had a bruised ego when they flinched at the sight of the needle! 😃

The point is flu vaccines have been around since 1940s and polio vaccines, the mid 50s. Yet there are still people who experience side effects from them. It will be no different with COVID19 vaccine, now or in years to come. 

Even for a person who always get affected by vaccines, the risk due to the side effects has to be weighed against its protective benefit. As numbers don't lie, here are some based on the current statistics. 

1. The risk of experiencing serious side effects from covid19 vaccines = 1 in every 400,000 (0.0003%)
2. The chance of being infected by COVID19 in Malaysia = 1 in every 250 (0.4%)

0.0003% versus 0.4% risk. It is a no-brainer.

EFFICACY AND EFFECTIVENESS

The efficacy of the vaccines is pretty high, with close to 95% for some brands. However, it is not the only factor in choosing the best one as they vary in cost and logistics requirement with some of them needing to be stored in -70C, which is colder than winter in Antartica!  

 

As to how long the vaccine will remain effective? There is no data yet to determine whether you need to vaccinate annually (like a flu jab) or it will be good for a lifetime! 

STAGES OF ROLLOUT

Malaysia is expecting the first arrival of vaccines for mass distribution in February 2021 and the priorities have been determined as follows: 

1. The front liners
2. The elderly, the handicapped and those who have high risks 
3. General population (18 years and above)

Based on the above plan, it could be another year before we as a nation can be considered "safe" from the virus!  

WHY JAB? 

Same reason as any other vaccines - Prevention Is Better Than Cure. 

For some, science and religion don't mix but I always believe that our health and well being are the blessings bestowed by God upon us and therefore it is our obligation to strive to preserve it. 

But it is not just about us. Since we live in a society, public health is paramount and the onus is also upon us to ensure the health of the people around us through herd immunity. 

To achieve this in Malaysia based on the current dermographics, it is estimated that 70% of the population must be vaccinated. Since COVID19 vaccine excludes application to the minor, this means that almost everyone in Malaysia who is of legal age (18+) has to take on the responsibility to be vaccinated! More so, if you are suffering from diseases that put you in the high risk category. 

Hopefully with this information, when you are asked whether to be vaccinated or not, you will do the right thing and say YES to the JAB. 

SPECIAL MESSAGE

Apart from being the first neonatologist in Malaysia, Dr. Musa is also a man of religious authority, being the President of the Federation of Islamic Medical Associations (FIMA), the parent body of Islamic Medical Associations in 41 countries. It was very impressive to hear him use scientific terms and recite words from the Quran all in the same sentence, in order to win the hearts and minds of the Muslim anti-vaxxers to accept and adopt vaccination as the simplest form of protection. 

"For indeed a dirham weight (6g) of protection is better than a qintars weight (150kg) of treatment." 

 

GOD? ALLAH? What's The Difference?

In Malaysia right now there has been a lot of controversies on the issue of the translated bible using the word Allah to mean God. 

In my recent meeting with a non-Muslim friend, I was asked of my opinion on this issue. I can only speak based on the little knowledge of Islam that I have and what it means to me and this is no way an attack to those who think or know otherwise. So, of course any intellectual discussion or correction from those in the know are most welcome. 

We all know that the word Allah comes from the Arabic word 'Ilah" (means deity, god, divine being) combines with the definite article "al" (means the). This make al-illah which was then brought together as "Allah", The God. Loosely, it is probably safe to say that the word Allah and God can be used interchangeably because of what it means. 

However in my opinion, language is really a side issue to this question. What is far more important is actually the concept of God which in my opinion differ significantly for the Muslims and the Christians. What I mean by this is that in Islam, we believe in the Unity of God, the monotheism and that there is no other God but Allah, which befits the definition of Allah, THE God, the one and only. 

In the case of the Christians whereby the word "God" insinuates belief in the Trinity, the word Allah may be improperly defined and create confusion. We therefore should defend the use of the word Allah unless it carries the same meaning conceptually, in order to avoid misconception of Islam. 

And Allah knows best. 

COMPETITION

I finished first place in my age category in the recent Yoma Yangon International Marathon and I thought I would be overjoyed with the outcome, but I wasn't and since then, I kept questioning myself why.

Now that I am not working, I have a bit more time to reflect on my life, my goals, my achievements and my failures and upon reflection, I think I may have the answer to that nagging question. 

The trigger point was when a group of us started talking about competition. 

I think everyone who knows me well, would know I am a very competitive person. There is no doubt about that. It is in my genes and my dad made sure it stayed there by further instilling those qualities in our family members. So, the Kazim clan would compete for everything - to be the best badminton player in the family, the first in class, the prettiest, the toughest.... 

This trait has helped me succeed where others have failed but it does not always come with a happy ending. As I grew older, I realised that competing against others are just so tiring and most times it didn't really mean much because the people you compete with may not even be at the same level as you in the first place, may have better facilities at their disposal, may have different goals and priorities, may train and peak at different phases than you, may have god's gift of a genius brain and pretty face. How do you then compare?  

So, I learnt to compete, not against the world but against myself. I am the only person that matters.  My result is the only result that matters. So, when I came in first in this marathon, I was not overjoyed, because although I am better than everybody else in my age category, my timing was NO better than my previous races. So, as far as I am concerned, there was nothing to be overjoyed about because the only person I am really competing is ME and I did not win in this race....

LOSING WEIGHT

Tasha: Mom, I know the secret to losing weight.

Mom: Tell me.

Tasha: Turn your head to the right. Turn your head to the left. Turn your head to the right and left quickly when people offer you food!

Mom: Cool!

KNOWLEDGE

Based on the ceramah by Ustaz Huseein Yee @ 10/10/2011 (Al-Khadeem):

One cannot say to have knowledge until one has learnt about it, understood it and practised it.

ASK TO GET

Excerpt from Robin Sharma's The Greatness Guide


You will never know if you don’t even try. There is enormous power in asking for what you want. All too often, our internal chatter prevents us from taking the steps needed to get us to our own unique form of greatness. We are kept small from our inner imaginings – so much of which are lies.

The most brilliant of the best, those who live glorious lives that matter, ask like crazy. They understand that it’s a habit that must be polished for it to shine. And the more you do it, the easier it gets (like any skill). So they ask.

For the support and help they need at work.
For the understanding they may seek at home.
For a win they need for their business.
For a better table at their favourite restaurant.
For a better seat at a sold out concert.

And because they ask more, they get more (success always has been a numbers game). Nothing happens until you ask. People are not mind readers. They need to know what’s meaningful to you.

And if you ask nicely, they just might say yes.

CILC SCHOOL UNIFORM

Drove for an hour to CILC (still trying to figure out the fastest route) yesterday to buy Tasha her school uniforms.

Couldn't believe the bill when everything was totalled up.

RM 640 for school uniforms and that does not include the blazer since the tailor was not there and the leather shoes which we have to purchase outside. With those, the total damage would easily exceed one gran.

At that price, they not only have to continue giving partial scholarship for tuition fees but they may also have to start giving subsidy / interest free payment scheme just for uniforms!

I think I need to look for a second job!

BRANDS

I am a very loyal customer once I find the product that matches my need perfectly but I am not loyal to a particular brand:

The following are my favourites (which means the ones that I have the most based on current inventory)

A) Running Shoes - Nike Vomero
B) Running Tops - Nike High Impact and New Balance at a close second
C) Running Shorts - New Balance
D) Tennis Rackets - Prince
E) Tennis Balls - Wilson
F) Tennis Skorts - Yonex
G) Tennis Shoes - Reebok
H) Tennis Tops - Yonex
H) Polo Shirts - Polo Ralph Lauren
I) Jeans - Calvin Klein
J) Gym Wear - Adidas
K) Work Clothes - Iora
L) Golf Clubs - PING
M) Golf Pants - Marks & Spencer
N) Golf Tops - LPGA
O) Smart Pants - Marks & Spencer
P) Golf Shoes - Mizuno
Q) Yoga Pants - Adidas
R) Golf Balls - Srixon
S) Tennis Bags - Prince
T) Sweat Bands - Adidas
U) Tennis Socks - Prince
V) Running Socks - Mitchdowd and Nike
W) Squash Racket - Wilson
X) Handbags - Etienne Aigner
Y) Gym Gloves - Nike
Z) Gym Shorts - American Athletics

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED

The feeling when I hit the finishing line at Stadium Likas for my first full marathon was just undescribeable!

Throughout my life, I have accomplished things - I represented house, school, district, state and country in various sports and academic fields and went to win some of these events. I have earned a law degree, a Master's degree and was made a Contracts & Procurement Manager in one of the biggest projects in Malaysia - the billion dollar LRT project at a young age of 26 year's old.

Even after my marriage and the birth of the most precious thing in my life, I went on to test new territories and conquered some, in activities that took my fancy - Scuba diving, golf, piano lessons, downhill skiing and mandarin.

Yes...those all seemed to be major accomplishments but somehow they now look so small and insignificant compared to what I have achieved just a few days ago!

I ran the distance from Athens to Marathon and I still can't believe that I have done it!

80 / 20 RULE

The 80 / 20 rule is also known as the Pareto Principle (the law of the vital few).

Generally 80% of the effects come from 20% of the causes, 80% of the wealth is owned by 20% of the nation or 80% of sales come from 20% of the Clients.

Applying this to work, it is about identifying and working on the 20 percent that matters. The 20 percent that would produce 80 percent of the results.

I always ask my staff to focus on those things. It is not just about working smart, it is working smart on the right things....

p/s: my boss thinks it is just an excuse to do less for the same money!

BATA

Buy and Throw Away

or

Buy and Treasure Always?

CHARITY GOLF FOR NETBALL MALAYSIA

Venue: Glenmarie Golf & Country Club

Date: 27th March 2011

One of the prizes given away for the lucky draw was the Air Purifier.

Datin Ju who played in my flight asked me: "Lini, Air purifier tu untuk apa?"

My reply: "Kak Ju, to purify the orgasm in the air!"

Datin Ju: "huh!*&$*()&$#^(*()

UNITED NATIONS

On the last night in Beirut, we decided to walk along the Corniche again so that the last memory of Beirut for me will be of people jogging by the sea, the kids learning to roller blade and family playing football on the pavements.

When we passed Hard Rock Cafe, we saw a few vans with UN sign. Franco immediatley made remarks about how the UN boys must have a cushy life, hanging out in Hard Rock after a hard day's work.

Tasha: what does UN stand for?

Franco: United Nation, it is a world organisation that helps with peace keeping when there is war.

Tasha after digesting the information then jested, "I am with UN and I come in pieces!"

POEM BY RUMI

God is like an ocean, and religions are like rivers that all flow into the same ocean.

Our origins are the same, and our destinations are the same;

It is our paths that sometimes differ.

Rumi, the Sufi poet

RELATIONS

Venue: Dubai International Airport

Out of boredom while waiting for our connecting flight from Beirut to KL, Franco decided to do his dance, which in his mind is super cool, but in reality it is an embarrasment to us all.

While he was in trance with his dance, I asked Tasha, " do you know this guy? Are you related to him?"

Tasha replied "YOU made me related to him!"