COMPETITION

I finished first place in my age category in the recent Yoma Yangon International Marathon and I thought I would be overjoyed with the outcome, but I wasn't and since then, I kept questioning myself why.

Now that I am not working, I have a bit more time to reflect on my life, my goals, my achievements and my failures and upon reflection, I think I may have the answer to that nagging question. 

The trigger point was when a group of us started talking about competition. 

I think everyone who knows me well, would know I am a very competitive person. There is no doubt about that. It is in my genes and my dad made sure it stayed there by further instilling those qualities in our family members. So, the Kazim clan would compete for everything - to be the best badminton player in the family, the first in class, the prettiest, the toughest.... 

This trait has helped me succeed where others have failed but it does not always come with a happy ending. As I grew older, I realised that competing against others are just so tiring and most times it didn't really mean much because the people you compete with may not even be at the same level as you in the first place, may have better facilities at their disposal, may have different goals and priorities, may train and peak at different phases than you, may have god's gift of a genius brain and pretty face. How do you then compare?  

So, I learnt to compete, not against the world but against myself. I am the only person that matters.  My result is the only result that matters. So, when I came in first in this marathon, I was not overjoyed, because although I am better than everybody else in my age category, my timing was NO better than my previous races. So, as far as I am concerned, there was nothing to be overjoyed about because the only person I am really competing is ME and I did not win in this race....