IRRECONCILABLE DIFFERENCES

Almost every divorce you hear of these days are on the grounds of irreconcilable differences. I thought of my similarities and differences with my husband and guess what....

While I have to think hard (very hard) of our similarities, all the differences just came oozing out I can't even type fast enough.

Since it is Sunday today, let me start with my idea of an ideal Sunday - I would love to wake up early in the morning, have a light breakfast, hit the tennis or squash court, followed by a swim. After three hours of workout, it justifies a big brunch or lunch after which we just chill out until it's time to go to our favourite Club and perform our ritual round of golf. Dinner will be at the Club followed by a leisurely drive home for some TV, book or blog.

My hubby on the other hand, loves to sleep in and when he finally wakes up, he expects a big buffet brunch on the table (breakfast will be long gone by then) , followed by TV time to help digest the food. After the digestion process is complete, we would go out for lunch and loiter around aimlessly until it's time to go to our favourite club and perform our ritual round of golf. Dinner will be at any other restaurant but at the Club because the food at the Club is ain't like Chicco or Rakuzen! After some fine dining, it's time to hit home for some TV.

We have been married for over 10 years now, which means we have gone through over 520 irreconcilable Sundays where all we could agree on is golf. (Even this requires a lot of coaxing on my part in the beginning of our marriage!)

Ah...and that is just Sundays. What about how he likes coffee and I like tea; I love Nasi Dagang and he Kopitiam; he talks to his mom long distance every weekend, and I talk to my mom who lives locally once a year; he watches every sports on TV while I play every game he watches; he walks so slowly you almost feel like he's walking backwards while I march through everything like there is no tomorrow; he is a party goer and I will make all sorts of excuses not to have to socialise; he enjoys calling even just the plumber and would talk to the electrician like they are the best of friends while I enjoy being in my study undisturbed; he dotes on our daughter and she worships him for that while I am labelled the wicked mother...and the list just goes on.

Am I therefore doomed for a divorce on the grounds of irreconcilable difference?

GOD FORBIDS !

I love the fact that he loves to socialise, if it is not for him, we will live a life of a hermit as I would shun every person that walks through my door; I love the fact that he derives immense pleasure from fine foods because now, with his taste and appetite, I must say that we do eat well on the whole; I enjoy going shopping with him where I would normally just choose and pay while he would bargain for every penny; I love going on holidays with him because he is just so laid back and so relaxing to be with (unfortunately this is the only occassion that I enjoy his laid back attitude) while if left to my devices, the holiday would be just another day at work...

So, the way I look at it is that, I don't need him to be me, and I certainly do not want to be him. I accept him for being different and I don't want to change him or reconcile it (well, maybe after numerous efforts of trying, I have grown more mature and know by now that you just can't change a person. It's just not going to happen!).

I just need him to complete me - and that's exactly what he does and I love him for it.