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Friday, September 26, 2008

BACK TO THE GRIND

William and I had been on skype for the last month, negotiating my package to rejoin the establishment that I left less than a year ago. We finally came to a settlement a few hours ago.
My husband congratulated me. He seemed to be more excited than I am.
Why am I not feeling elated about going back to the corporate world, about being the only lady in the man's game, about leading a team of players from every corner of the mother earth, about getting an increment without even having to fight for it or justify it.
A year ago, this prospect would give me a high for days and days but now, it just doesn't give me anything. In fact, it might have given me a low! What is wrong with me?
The answer came when I spoke to Tasha. She bawled almost as soon as I uttered the 4 letter word and in between sobs, asked, "Who is going to surprise me at the door when I come home from school?"
I felt my tears welling, but I fought it so that I could reason things with her, without making a big scene. I finally managed to convince her of all the good things that would come out of it. By the time we were finished she was all smiles again, kissed me good night and jumped into bed. I managed to muster a smile back at her while thinking, the one person that really needs to be convinced is yet to see the light at the end of the tunnel. It all seems to be rather dim at the moment...

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