REFLECTION AT DAWN

It is 4 o'clock in the morning and I just couldn't put myself to sleep again. So many things are going through my head - not only about the issues that are bothering me but also about things I am thankful about. For even in times of trouble, there is always something to be grateful for. And friendship tops it all today.

Through the years I have made many friends but retain very few. It is usually in times of need that you realise who your true friends are. I am so blessed to have a few of them and would not trade them for anything in the world, unless it is a mansion in Hollywood Hills, of course! So, goodbye my fair weather friends and hello and thank you to my stormy weather ones!

Friday started off well with a good tennis session with Coach Din after dropping the kids off at school. After a quick shower and change at the Tennis Centre, I drove to Shah Alam to pick a stormy weather friend #1 up from a hospital. It was the least I could do for her kindness in offering us a place to stay while we battle the contractors and each other.

Anyway, it was at this hospital that I received a phone call from my stormy weather friend #2 who excited me with her recommendation for a position in an MNC, that years ago I probably would die for. After the conversation was over and I had time to digest the news, I suddenly have a mixed feeling about this offer. The truth is I thought I was resolute with my decision to go back to SKM but this offer is making me think twice about my judgement, and that is NEVER a good way to reignite one's career!

But that is not the worst news that is giving me stomach and mouth ulcers. I am not sure how I feel or should feel - disappointed, upset, sad, or all of the above - I thought I know of this stormy weather friend #3 like the back of my hand, but lately he keeps making one bad decision after another that is affecting our life, so I am beginning to wonder whether our welfare is being taken into consideration when these decisions are made. And when they are, where does it lie in the list of priority. Currently I am feeling pretty low in the list when usually I am a very high person who would not be perturbed by such things. It would be so easy for me to brush off my feelings as being silly, but this time, I just can't shake it off.

I guess that's why they are the stormy weather friends. They usually are the ones brewing the storm, oopss, I mean...they are suppose to be there when the storm is brewing, no.. really, I mean they will always be there when the tea is brewing after the storm.