A BITCH IN THE HOUSE

5.30 a.m. and I was wide awake. It is a Sunday and it is supposed to be a sleep in day. But thanks (or no thanks to my insomnia) I have not slept in for the last 20 years...or maybe more.

Saturday 4th April, just yesterday was my 11th wedding anniversary and it was also the day I spent the wee morning cleaning the house, arranging towels and place mats, doing laundry and cooking anniversary dinner for 7.

The logical thing this morning following a hard day's at home on my anniversary day would be to spend the quiet quality time to myself - doing things I enjoy without making too much noise in the process. So, I grabbed the book Sylvia lent me which consisted of 26 short essays. By the time the rest of the occupants of C301 woke up, I finished reading 4 and pretty much had a good idea where the book was heading.

The book got me thinking, especially a day after celebrating 11th year together with Franco what is it that made a marriage last? Especially nowadays when according to Hugo, my buddy who thrives on statistics, 75% of marriages is doomed for failure.

Our marriage is not made in heaven but we are happy together. Not claiming to be an expert, I came up with a couple of theories as to what probably makes our marriage works:

a) Never try to change the spouse - accept him or her as he or she is

(Except when he is self destructing by gorging on kilos of pastas on a daily basis!)

b) Make a list of who does what

(This seems to be the point of contention through out the book! I have no problem in this regard and looking at my list, even you would pick out right away that it was not prepared by my spouse!)

c) Appreciate every little thing one does

(I get way too many kisses I find! So, perhaps, try not to over appreciate!)

d) Laugh at each other's blunder

(We do this a lot! Life is too short to take everything too seriously)

e) Have rules

(We have rules down to who watches TV at what time and for how long)

f) Set financial goals and work towards the same goal

(This is where our mismatch seems to be, but the key is always to make sure your spouse is inching towards yours!)

g) Find out what you are made of, don't ever lose yourself or your identity

(Don't let the surrounding or the people define you! Define yourself)

h) Share everything THAT MATTERS

(Just days ago, Franco sent me text message to share with me the colour of his poo! - that's why the key text is capitalised)

i) Don't ever cheat on each other

(Even before we got married, I have already warned Franco that I would cut his balls if I find that he ever cheats on me - and I think after being together 11 years, I will not hesitate to execute my "light hearted" warning!)

So, do you need A BITCH IN THE HOUSE to make a marriage work? Absolutely.....